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Closing the Pleasure Disparity: Orgasm Gap – Hellove Class #19

orgasm gap

Everyone deserves a fulfilling sexual experience. While orgasms aren’t the sole source of pleasure during intimacy, they undeniably play a crucial role. Regrettably, a persistent gap exists in the frequency of orgasm attainment between men and women.

About Orgasm Gap

The orgasm gap in heterosexual sex reveals a substantial difference in reported climax frequencies between men and women. According to the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, 64% of heterosexual women experienced orgasm in their last sexual encounter, compared to 91% of men—a consistent 27% disparity.

Survey data also linked orgasm rates to specific sexual behaviors. While men maintained a consistent 90% orgasm rate across acts, women’s orgasms varied widely, with 64% during partnered masturbation and 81% with oral sex. This emphasizes the importance of diverse sexual activities in closing the orgasm gap.

Interestingly, some heterosexual men falsely believe their female partners orgasm, creating a disconnect with women’s reported experiences. This points to issues surrounding cultural attitudes towards female sexuality, including a lack of understanding of female anatomy and stigmatization of female pleasure.

To Closing the Pleasure Disparity: Solve the Orgasm Gap

Stop faking orgasms!

This goes for any gender. Whenever you fake an orgasm, your partner assumes that whatever they were doing was pleasurable for you, and they are more likely to try that same technique in the future. Instead of faking an orgasm, try to suggest a different technique, or make sure to encourage your partner when they are using a technique that you enjoy.

Don’t forget foreplay

People often undervalue the significance of foreplay, a key element in heightening arousal and enhancing the pleasure of sexual experiences. For many women, achieving orgasm is often easier through oral sex than vaginal penetration. Consequently, extending the duration of foreplay can significantly contribute to narrowing the orgasm gap.


Effective communication is essential in any relationship, be it platonic, romantic, or sexual. Particularly in a sexual context, clear communication eliminates the guesswork about your partner’s satisfaction. Articulating your sexual preferences enhances not only your own enjoyment but also boosts your partner’s confidence, potentially leading to more fulfilling experiences and orgasms.

Use varied sexual techniques and experimentation

Frequently, relying solely on vaginal penetration may not lead to orgasm. Instead, incorporating a range of sexual techniques—such as clitoral stimulation, the use of sex toys, oral sex, and more—significantly increases the likelihood of achieving orgasm. The key to discovering mutual preferences is through experimentation and open communication about what techniques were enjoyable and what were not.

Get curious and comfortable with your sexuality

In contemporary society, female sexuality faces considerable stigma, fostering an environment of intimidation where many women may hesitate to express their desires during sex. Initiating a journey towards embracing one’s sexuality is a crucial step in narrowing the orgasm gap.


The orgasm gap persists largely due to a widespread lack of education about female sexual pleasure in society. You don’t have to be a sex educator to become an expert on your own and your partner’s desires. Investing time in learning and understanding sexuality can play a vital role in closing the orgasm gap. While not attributed to any specific gender, collaborative efforts can be made to address and ultimately narrow this gap.